


Harmonious Brokenness

by framedgeek



Category: Star Trek: Picard
Genre: F/F, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:00:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24201709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/framedgeek/pseuds/framedgeek
Summary: A one-shot set during the Season 1 Finale 'Et in Arcadia Ego' as an extension to the barely-there scene in La Sirena's Mess Hall between Seven and Raffi (and is therefore non-canon as Season 2 hasn't been completed at this time).
Relationships: Raffi Musiker & Seven of Nine
Comments: 3
Kudos: 13





	Harmonious Brokenness

**Author's Note:**

> Author note: Not mine. I'm just a geek who isn't profiting from the story below. 
> 
> For anyone who questions that a relationship between Seven and Raffi would be 'totally out of the blue' clearly has missed the nuance of their characters but feel free to debate with me!
> 
> Lastly, this is only my second attempt at writing FF (long-time lurker) and a Beta wasn't used, so any constructive feedback is greatly welcomed. This work has also been published on FanFiction.

**Harmonious Brokenness**

They've been on Coppelius for a while now whilst they repair the battle and subsequent crash-landing damage to _La Sirena_ , and it was making Raffi antsy.

She didn't like this enforced stillness because she knew that it was during times of inactivity when she struggled with addiction the most. This nothingness wasn't going to distract her from the her own thoughts, which were currently growing louder, boldly vying for her attention.

Raffi knew she was heading towards yet more sleepless nights, and shook her head in a poor attempt at clearing her troubled thoughts. Damn, self-destructive habits were hard to break.

She needed a drink, a real drink. She needed to wash away the bitter taste of her demons from her mouth.

Exiting her quarters Raffi headed towards the Mess Hall, having remembered that there was a bottle of Coppelius' local favoured alcohol stashed there. Sure it tasted like crap, but the taste was thankfully balanced by potency.

With her target in mind, Raffi meandered towards her goal caught up in her own thoughts, when something made her suddenly look up and come to a full stop.

The Mess Hall was already occupied, and the carefully stashed bottle had clearly been located and appropriated with apparent ease, open on the table next to the Hall's occupant: Seven.

Raffi's brain stalled for a moment as she settled back into the shadows to look across the Mess Hall to watch Seven, who was drinking shots and playing kal-toh. Oh how Raffi had admired Seven since the very start!

Seven and her dramatic entrance onto the bridge of _La Sirena,_ risking her life and losing her ship in the process to save them. Sure Raffi had heard rumours of Seven of Nine and of the 'Fenris Rangers', but absolutely none of that had prepared her for the _reality_ of Seven.

It wasn't fear. Well, not exactly anyway.

Raffi had heard of Seven whilst looking for hope, and for answers to end the injustice in the galaxy. Now, having spent time watching Seven aboard _La Sirena_ as well as fighting alongside her in yet another of J.L.'s crazy schemes, Seven's tenacity, sarcasm, wit, intelligence, beauty, captivating poise, battle skills and her retained Borg technology were a force to be reckoned with... but none of those things were the reason for Raffi's fear.

No, what terrified Raffi was how Seven made her feel. Something she hadn't experienced for some time, and certainly hadn't allowed herself to feel. She couldn't risk opening herself up to be further broken by yet someone else... she was tired of being broken.

Yet, something in Seven called to something in Raffi.

Watching unabashedly from the safety of the Mess Hall shadows, Raffi felt that somehow her brokenness matched Seven's.

She knew her life experiences had been very different from Seven's, and that very few others could ever fully understand the reality of being assimilated and the return to humanity afterwards. Yet Seven survived. She was a fighter, because only the strongest of character could have kept Seven going during her life of being shunned since her return on _Voyager_ from the Delta Quadrant.

None of these differences mattered to the call in Raffi however. All her innermost voice seemed to care about was that it had found a soulmate, someone who could understand her fears, heartache, losses, addictions, and brokenness.

Deep in her thoughts and examinations meant that Raffi was ill-prepared when Seven broke the silence of the Mess Hall.

"Are you going to remain skulking in the shadows, or are you going to join me for a drink Raffi?" Raffi jumped, embarrassed at being caught. She didn't skulk! She stepped out of the shadows into the Mess Hall lights, towards Seven.

"Does the drinking help when playing kal-toh?" Raffi responded as she took another step closer, slowly making her way towards Seven.

"Why don't you join me and find out?" Seven answered, tilting her head inquisitively and raising an eyebrow.

Raffi reached the table and sat down opposite Seven, struggling to look anywhere other than into her eyes. Before another word is said, Raffi watches as Seven's expression changes. Her eyebrow dropping, and a corner of her mouth curving upwards into a sly smile that immediately makes Raffi think of a predator.

How could such a small change make someone look even more beautiful? Raffi really couldn't understand why Seven had been treated the way she had in her lifetime. She could understand how she herself had been treated, she'd paid the price for the life she'd lived and the choices she'd made, but Seven had done nothing to deserve her life. Raffi felt weary, but right now looking across at Seven, she could see the warmth in Seven's smile as well as a light in her eyes that made Raffi's heart beat much faster.

Seven looked away to grab a second glass from the table, and poured a healthy sized drink into both this and her own glass already on the table in front of her.

"Do you know how to play kal-toh?" Seven said looking directly into Raffi's eyes, as if looking for confirmation of something deep inside her.

Raffi nervously wonders if she should just throw back that drink now to break the intensity of the moment. "I'll be honest, it's been quite a while since I've played," Raffi responds, desperately wanting to be able to look away from that piercing gaze.

Seven drops her eyes to the game between them giving Raffi a chance to take a couple of deep breaths. Picking up a t'an from the pile in front of her, Seven meets Raffi's gaze once again as she holds it out for her to take.

"Then I'll be gentle with you," Seven wryly jokes as Raffi's hand stretches out to take the t'an.

Raffi's eyes widen, and a moment passes as the two of them face each other evaluating what's being said and what's being meant. Raffi's eyes shift to Seven's outstretched arm, and realises that the pile of t'an had been on Seven's left, and it's Seven's dominant left hand that's stretched towards her.

Looking at the exoskeleton surrounding Seven's hand, following it as it disappears under the sleeve of her jacket upwards across her forearm, stretching the moment too long as a brief look of sadness flashes across Seven's face and her hand drops to her knee, out of sight beneath the table.

"Or maybe we shouldn't play at all," Seven states coldly as her shoulders slump slightly and she looks down into her drink.

Raffi realises that she has been silently staring at Seven for too long, and that Seven has assumed the worst. Dammit, she is not like everyone else in Seven's life, she needs to make this right and for Seven to understand.

"NO!" Raffi shouts startling Seven who meets her eyes once more. "You misunderstand me Seven. Forgive me for staring, it's the first chance I've been this close to you to see your exoskeleton in any detail. It's beautiful."

Seven scoffs, not believing Raffi's words or sentiment. "It is hardly beautiful, it is destructive and brings about only assimilation and damage." Seven tosses back her drink with her right hand, placing the glass back on the table with a hard 'thunk'.

Having no doubts however, Raffi holds her right hand out steady, waiting for Seven to raise her left arm once again so she can take the t'an to join Seven's game.

"But it is beautiful Seven, it is beautifully _you_."

Seven's mouth parts as a quiet gasp escapes. Holding Raffi's stare, silently questioning, Seven seems to eventually find the answer she's looking for and raises her left arm still holding the t'an.

Raffi moves forward slightly and takes the t'an, their hands brushing as their eyes stay locked for a few moments longer, before Raffi looks down at Seven's in-progress game. Raffi wonders what information Seven has gleamed from the single touch, knowing that her exoskeleton serves a functional purpose. Now was not the time however.

Looking back to the game and seeing the disorganisation, Raffi sees a gap on one side and places her t'an. Raising her head again and reaching for her own drink, Raffi downs it ensuring she's swallowed before she looks back towards Seven. 

Seven is looking at her, that slight smile on her face once again, as she releases a chuckle.

"A 'rookie error' Raffi trying to balance the uneven side, are you sure you want to play with me?"

Smiling, Raffi nods before raising her own eyebrow and tilting her head to mimic Seven's earlier pose, "Yes Seven, although in an effort to improve, maybe I should watch you more closely?"

Seven raises her eyebrow at Raffi's comment, pouring them each another drink.

"Whilst I applaud your desire to improve-" Seven starts in a self-derisive tone as she tosses her drink back, "-you should not waste your time watching me. I am broken. Just an unwanted lost cause without a place to belong, like the other xB's on the Artifact".

Seven's shoulders have taken on their earlier slump, and Raffi dislikes the sudden deadness she sees in Seven's eyes in addition to hating the negativity surrounding her words. How could such a person not see how wonderful they truly were?

"Seven-" Raffi waits for Seven to look at her before continuing, "-out of all the games you could have chosen, why did you choose kal-toh to play?" Raffi refuses to look away from Seven as she sees the momentary confusion at this seemingly unrelated change in topic.

"I..-" Seven pauses as if searching for an answer, "I find it comforting. It reminds me of Tuvok's quiet and logical support, of the meditations he taught me onboard Voyager, and the first feelings of belonging I had as a person when Tuvok and I played kal-toh together."

That Seven was being so open with her humbled Raffi.

"Tuvok sounds like a great person, maybe you could share his meditations with me?" Seven nods, but Raffi isn't finished. "The aim of kal-toh is to reach a harmonious balance. We each add t'ans in an effort to reach that balance together."

Raffi looks down and gives herself a moment to take a deep breath and downs her drink. When the glass is replaced on the table once more, Raffi looks back up at Seven and places her hand on Seven's left hand, feeling the coolness of the Borg technology under her fingertips, unknowingly brushing them against Seven's hand as she once again speaks and not seeing Seven's slight shudder in response.

"Seven, we are both broken. Broken by life and the things we've been through, and like this game of kal-toh there is disorganisation in us as we place our t'ans via the choices we make in life. We're both searching for that harmonious balance, and I have to be honest and say that for once in my life... I feel comfortable in my brokenness with you." Raffi blinks, and feels one of the tears that had been building during her impassioned words escape.

Time is still between them as they search each other's eyes, initially looking for answers, but eventually finding acceptance and belonging. Seven turns her left hand palm-up, curving it around Raffi's hand as her right hand moves up to wipe away the fallen tear on Raffi's face.

Staring in wonder, Seven swallows, "I don't feel quite so broken when I'm with you Raffi."

A smile blooms on Raffi's face as she sees a matching smile grow on Seven's.

"Maybe then, we should be less broken together? We're both damaged, have been through terrible things, we're both haunted by our pasts and our losses... and yet in all this we fit together and understand each other better than most ever will."

Reaching her other hand out, Raffi places her palm against Seven's face, tenderly brushing her cheek with her thumb.

"We belong, however broken we are Seven, we belong right here." Raffi says as she continues to stroke Seven's cheek as they share a moment of peace and understanding.

A cathartic sigh seems to leave Seven, as her eyes fill with tears. She straightens in her seat and moves to pour them both a drink before offering Raffi's glass to her.

"Let's drink to our brokenness, and our search for harmonious balance together." Seven says as she raises her glass.

"I'll drink to that Seven, and to our harmonious brokenness."

Raffi taps her glass to Seven's and they both throw back their shots, downing them in a single move. As they place their glasses back on the table, Seven reaches out her left hand for a t'an to take her turn in the kal-toh game between them, but her right reaches out so that her fingers interlink with Raffi's.

Initially stunned at the move initiated by Seven, Raffi releases her held breath, relaxing into Seven's warmth as she tightens her fingers in an effort to bring their hands even closer together.

"This must be what home feels like." Seven whispers as Raffi moves closer to respond, but before anything further can pass between them, Picard's voice authoritatively calls out from just above.

"It's time."

Seven and Raffi briefly tighten their hands together as they share a final look, not wanting the moment to end. They part and make their way to the bridge, to finally be away from Coppelius and its' memories.

They take their seats side-by-side on the bridge of _La Sirena_ as everyone prepares to move onto whatever next bunch of crazy J.L. has planned for them. Powering up the ship, Seven and Raffi await the next command. Feeling happy, settled, securely at peace in their shared new knowledge that they're not alone, that they have a place in each other where they finally belong.


End file.
